They provide 250-thread-count sheets for J.Lo. ... cook special treats for Oprah's dog ... and install special steam showers for Bruce Willis. Let's face it: As lucrative as it may be, catering to today's top celebrities has never been harder. And yet there are dozens of fi rst-class destinations just lining up to indulge Hollywood's every demand, offering the kind of amenities that rival Beverly Hills' finest rehab facilities. From midnight lobster runs to personalized diet plans, these five star hotels have seen and done it all, and have won the hearts (and wallets) of Hollywood's ruling class. Behold, dear reader, a peek into the G-L-A-M-O-R-O-U-S life.

The Ty Warner Penthouse

Four Seasons Hotel, New York
He's the creator of the Beanie Babies, and a hotel owner to boot. And now he's the brand behind New York's most expensive hotel suite: the Ty Warner Penthouse at New York's famed Four Seasons. The recently christened suite, which took seven years and $50 million to build, might set you back $30,000 a night, but oh, what a night! Think of the fun you can have entertaining friends in a nine-room, 4,300-square-foot crib so decadent even the fabrics are woven with threads of gold and silver. The I.M. Pei designed penthouse also features a private elevator, library, Zen garden, spa and fl oor-to-ceiling windows offering panoramic views of the New York skyline from 700 feet above the ground. And lest this not suit your celebrity taste, the penthouse comes inclusive of all hotel services, which means you can beckon your butler, masseuse or chauffeur (in a Maybach!) at all hours of the day. Could Oprah be the next guest?

The Tanning Butler

The Ritz-Carlton, South Beach, Florida
No one knows tanning better than Hollywood?s hottest celebs. Heck, George Hamilton all but invented it. But no one comes close to offering a more personalized bronzing (legal, mind you) experience than the Tanning Butler, courtesy of The Ritz-Carlton, South Beach. Every weekend, stars and stalkers alike line up, or more appropriately lie down, for a chance to be rubbed by this pool-fly, who patrols the deck equipped with a holster bearing all your tanning essentials: Hampton Sun tanning products, spritzer and sunglass cleaner. With one snap of your fingers (this is The Ritz-Carlton, after all), you can summon him to apply oils to hard-to-reach back and shoulder areas, assuring the perfect sun-kissed glow for your weekend adventures. The tanning butler is easy on the eyes, too, attracting a slew of Hollywood's leading ladies?from Jessica Simpson to Vivica A. Fox — for afternoon rubdowns.

The Golf Ball Massage

The Four Seasons Dallas at Las Colinas
Cashing endorsement checks can wreak havoc on your stroke. So what better way to rub out all the knots than a golf ball massage at the Four Seasons Dallas at Las Colinas? Already a haven for golfers worldwide (it features suites named after golfing legends Byron Nelson and Payne Stewart, in addition to an 18-hole, par-70 course measuring 7,009 yards), the hotel's spa recently introduced a new massage treatment designed to indulge Tiger wannabes and casual caddies alike. Using Titleist golf balls, the massage focuses on the release of targeted muscle groups in the shoulders, back and feet. Stretching and kneading of tight muscles is also incorporated to relieve tension. The treatment costs $135 for 50 minutes and $180 for 80 minutes — chump change for PGA pros.

Adirondack Activities

The Point, Saranac Lake, New York
Let's face it: In Hollywood, physical activity means flexing in front of the mirror at Sports Club LA, and not much more. For some real fun, however, celebrities fly off to Saranac Lake, New York, for a high-end retreat deep in the Adirondack Mountains: The Point, an 11-room hotel housed in what used to be the Rockefeller family compound. There, the truly fabulous partake in activities year-round, whether it's summer/fall (water skiing, swimming, tennis, boating, camping, volleyball, backyard croquet, horseshoes, badminton, hiking, fishing, biking, horseback riding and golf) or winter/ spring (skiing, snowshoeing, ice fi shing, etc.). They come with just the clothes on their backs and are provided the essentials in any size or color, whether it's ice skates, hiking boots or wet suits. Want to throw snowballs with John and Teresa Kerry or go boating with Bill and Melinda Gates? This is where it's at, and it only costs $1,200 a night.

The Luxurious Bathroom

The Peninsula Hotel, Chicago
Think you had a long day? When you're starring in a one-hour drama and you're chewing the kind of scenery that just screams Emmy (or per-episode pay hike), there's very little time for the important stuff, like admiring your own work. So what better way to relax and take stock of your natural talent than a bubble bath at the Peninsula Hotel? Jennifer Aniston is a fan of the Chicago hotel, where you can luxuriate in rich, soothing Molton Brown of London bubbles while watching your latest performance on a television built right into the wall of the tub. That's right, there's a TV in the tub. Better yet, you can control the set with your toes, via waterproof buttons. What's more, you can scream at your agent through a hands-free telephone, also conveniently located tubside.

The E-Butler

The St. Regis Hotel New York
They come dressed in tuxedos, white gloves and perpetual smiles, and can foresee diva meltdowns from a mile away. In fact, you won't find a better trained staff of service pros than the butler squad at New York's famed St. Regis Hotel. In this day and age — when Lindsay is texting from rehab and Paris' camera phone is capturing her every last move — keeping guests plugged in has never been so important. Enter the e-butlers, who are on call 24/7 — literally. With a fleet of BlackBerrys, Treos and Bluetooth gadgets at their disposal, the butlers at the St. Regis are ready for anything, whether it's a dinner reservation via e-mail, a room service request through text message or an upgrade demand sent by cell phone.